disability ~ where positivity can fail

[kossai]

crosspost from tumblr @ courtkossai .

tired of disability positivity posts that say - not stupid , not crazy , not lazy , whatever .
what if , though ? what if stupid , what if crazy , and likewise ?

some people wear these as badges of honour - that manage to survive this way , in world which work against atypical brains and bodies .
but in general , why should these things be bad things to be ? all this do is - ironically , given this is usually in direct opposite to written message - glorify ability to still be smart , to still be sane , to still be functional . to cede that yes , stupidity is bad , insanity is bad - disability simply place above these frameworks .

in extension of this , feel like so many people use this as justification to still hate on people who exhibit traits which associate with stupidity or insanity . can not stand slow talkers , can not stand people who need to ask clarification , snap at ultimately inconsequential actions that more often than not come from variations and struggles in brain and body .

there is no way to know history and diagnoses of stranger , after all - there is no name to justify these traits .
but there should not need to be . should be willing to accept traits and variations , entirely regardless of names and justifications , entirely regardless of perception as stupid or crazy or anything else .

Comments

Yes ...

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> tired of disability positivity posts that say - not stupid , not crazy , not lazy , whatever .
what if , though ? what if stupid , what if crazy , and likewise ? <<

It's a particularly pernicious brand of ableism in which people with a disability cling to the areas where they are NOT stigmatized, and in so doing, stigmatize others who are disabled in those ways. It's dragging yourself higher by stepping on other people's faces.

The most glaring example I've seen is the change between the static wheelchair symbol and the active wheelchair symbol. Sure, there are people who can self-propel a manual wheelchair. But there are many who cannot. The original symbol doesn't say anything about the user's ability; the newer active version excludes those who are not self-mobile. In a symbol that's supposed to include all disabilities! It's just brutal.

>>some people wear these as badges of honour - that manage to survive this way , in world which work against atypical brains and bodies .<<

Too true. As with abuse victims, there are two common paths:
* wanting a turn on top to step on other people the way you were stepped on
* wanting to make sure your horrible experiences don't happen to anyone else.


>>but in general , why should these things be bad things to be ? all this do is - ironically , given this is usually in direct opposite to written message - glorify ability to still be smart , to still be sane , to still be functional . to cede that yes , stupidity is bad , insanity is bad - disability simply place above these frameworks .<<

Well, stupidity is bad because it leads to harmful decisions and miserable outcomes. Crazy has similar drawbacks. Disabilities limit your chance to accomplish things, or even survive.

But having those traits doesn't necessarily make you a bad person. All humans have flaws. That's the part people tend to miss.

>>in extension of this , feel like so many people use this as justification to still hate on people who exhibit traits which associate with stupidity or insanity . can not stand slow talkers , can not stand people who need to ask clarification , snap at ultimately inconsequential actions that more often than not come from variations and struggles in brain and body .<<

Painfully true. What they forget is that they, themselves, are one car crash or stroke away from being in that category, temporarily or permanently. Ability is fragile, and few people make it to the end of their life without losing it.

>> there is no way to know history and diagnoses of stranger , after all - there is no name to justify these traits .<<

So much this, especially online. I once had a person tell me to shut up and stop talking about disability because I wasn't disabled. Online. Seriously? You don't even know that about someone in person. Lots of people don't talk about their limitations, because duh, society hates disabled people. And it's a conversation that should involve everyone.

>> but there should not need to be . should be willing to accept traits and variations , entirely regardless of names and justifications , entirely regardless of perception as stupid or crazy or anything else .<<

Tolerance is necessary for civilization.

Keep being your wonderful self, my friend, the world needs more people with your insights.

Re: Yes ...

[kossai]

"It's a particularly pernicious brand of ableism in which people with a disability cling to the areas where they are NOT stigmatized, and in so doing, stigmatize others who are disabled in those ways. It's dragging yourself higher by stepping on other people's faces."

very much so . kossai can not speak , and common refrain is : " still able to hear , still able to understand and think clearly , so do not say nasty things . " but this discount nonverbal deaf and hard of hearing people , and nonverbal people who might cognitive difficulties or psychosis . reason to not say nasty things about nonverbal people is because also just try to live lives peacefully - nastiness serve no one ! >.>

--

"Well, stupidity is bad because it leads to harmful decisions and miserable outcomes. Crazy has similar drawbacks.[...]"

in terms of brain-based categories , would argue much of this is still not inherent . even these concepts of stupidity and insanity just neutral truths of existence - that different brains will have different variations , some more extreme than others - and in some part cultural constructions too .

some decisions only end so badly because world do not well account for such variation - where many people might have only two choices , if even allow choice at all .
first choice is attempt to be fully independent , even where lack understanding or risk assessment - able to keep personhood and individuality , but at possibly great cost .
other choice is to become fully dependent and give up legal rights to someone else - and that might not be someone who care about feelings , personhood , or autonomy .
both of these can absolutely ruin life - need more middle ground to exist , and for all disabled people to have right to say when these things do not work out .

other times , stigma of these words and associative diagnoses push people over edge into terrible decisions - whether intentional self harm or suicide , or bad calls and accidents which spur on by crisis .
someone who is paranoid might hide away in fear others say terrible things , and fear that those others intend to force this person into uncomfortable or dangerous situations .
with stigmas of current society , people prove this paranoia to be entirely true , as then peers do say terrible things , and family do intend to force this person into uncomfortable situations - and potentially dangerous , as antipsychotics can be pretty destructive for some people . ( kossai do not have personal experience with antipsychotics , but know folk who do . )

definitely , certain diagnoses can be cause for concern , will need for different kinds of care and assistance , possibly in greater measures than peers . but these experiences will continue to exist , simply part of natural variations , and people need to accept that .

--

"Keep being your wonderful self, my friend, the world needs more people with your insights."
selves , actually - kossai is plural , every post and comment could be someone different ;D but yes , no intentions to toss this love and liberation away !

Re: Yes ...

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> very much so . kossai can not speak , <<

I didn't know that about you-all, so thanks for sharing.

Lots of people have a hard time grasping that nonspeaking persons are still persons.

>> and common refrain is : " still able to hear , still able to understand and think clearly , so do not say nasty things . <<

True.

>> " but this discount nonverbal deaf and hard of hearing people , and nonverbal people who might cognitive difficulties or psychosis . reason to not say nasty things about nonverbal people is because also just try to live lives peacefully - nastiness serve no one ! >.>

Well said.

>>in terms of brain-based categories , would argue much of this is still not inherent . even these concepts of stupidity and insanity just neutral truths of existence - that different brains will have different variations , some more extreme than others - and in some part cultural constructions too .<<

Perhaps so. Certainly cultures can be more or less tolerant of various traits. Shyness is considered a mental problem in America, but is a desirable trait for friends in Japan.

However, I think that some mental traits, like being unable or unwilling to learn new things, will make life massively harder and quite possibly shorter. Most people will consider that a bad thing.

>> some decisions only end so badly because world do not well account for such variation <<

True. Society doesn't handle mental differences well, even when they are just a different way of being human.

>> where many people might have only two choices , if even allow choice at all .
first choice is attempt to be fully independent , even where lack understanding or risk assessment - able to keep personhood and individuality , but at possibly great cost .
other choice is to become fully dependent and give up legal rights to someone else - and that might not be someone who care about feelings , personhood , or autonomy .<<

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

>> both of these can absolutely ruin life - need more middle ground to exist , and for all disabled people to have right to say when these things do not work out .<<

Agreed. One I've found is called assisted decision-making, which can be very useful.

https://web.archive.org/web/20150623103704/https://www.justice.nsw.gov.au/diversityservices/Pages/divserv/ds_capacity_tool/ds_capa_decision.aspx

https://providers.dffh.vic.gov.au/sites/default/files/2017-07/Supporting-decision-making-quick-reference-guide.pdf

>> other times , stigma of these words and associative diagnoses push people over edge into terrible decisions - whether intentional self harm or suicide , or bad calls and accidents which spur on by crisis .<<

True.

>> someone who is paranoid might hide away in fear others say terrible things , and fear that those others intend to force this person into uncomfortable or dangerous situations .
with stigmas of current society , people prove this paranoia to be entirely true , as then peers do say terrible things , and family do intend to force this person into uncomfortable situations - and potentially dangerous , as antipsychotics can be pretty destructive for some people .<<

It's not paranoia if people really are out to get you, which is true for many groups. It's only paranoia when the feeling of persecution is false.

>> ( kossai do not have personal experience with antipsychotics , but know folk who do . )<<

Same here. Some people find better living through chemistry, but others find it makes matters worse.

>> definitely , certain diagnoses can be cause for concern , will need for different kinds of care and assistance , possibly in greater measures than peers . <<

True.

>>but these experiences will continue to exist , simply part of natural variations , and people need to accept that .<<

It can be natural and still a problem. That doesn't excuse picking on people, though.

>> "Keep being your wonderful self, my friend, the world needs more people with your insights."
selves , actually - kossai is plural , every post and comment could be someone different ;D but yes , no intentions to toss this love and liberation away ! <<

Wonderful selves, then. :D I have several plural friends, but I can't always remember who in my audience has that identity.

[ghost_ship]

Adelaide/Adel: THIS! I think the whole thing with policing folks' self-descriptions is fucked. And I can understand that for some people that the more medical or more neutral/positive self-descriptors can be helpful for the ol' self-esteem, but not everyone works like that.

Like... people in our life have tried to comfort us when we're down on ourselves by being all like "oh, but you're so smart and creative~" But our stims, the things we need in order to keep being able to come off that way, make people "uncomfortable" and we're often made to stop. Then we struggle to be productive or even functional, and suddenly the whole smart and creative thing starts to fall apart.

For me, it's healing to just be like, "i'm stupid! :D" My headmates get Alarmed at this because, oh no, what of the Self Esteem??? Like... it was a problem when our former host would self-flagellate, so I understand the concern, but! My self esteem is fine actually, and it's better the more bimbo/himbo I get to be.

Mars: Oh, so that's why I get that queasy feeling when people are like, "no, you're not [negative thing]!" Yeah, that tracks.

Calanthe: While personally I struggle to comprehend finding comfort in labeling oneself negatively (despite sharing a head and body with those who do...?), the belief that it's wrong to regard oneself that way certainly hasn't done anything to help. It just means that getting stuck in having those thoughts of being stupid and such came with an added layer of shame...

Wearing that sort of thing as a "badge of honor," though, I've never thought of it that way. This post made me think, thanks.