dancing in the faerie ring

feel happy with comic browser format , and so epiphany - could totally use this for character galleries as well . so that is now underway ! all pages convert , just need to insert iframes with respective lists . in theory lists could also be separate from iframe , but that would take up lots of page space for longer lists , so especially on phones might not always be apparent that anything change . 

not sure yet if library will handle in same way , feel like typical links still make sense there because of how lengthy written word can be . 

recently find out about new game dressmaker , and friend was happy to gift ! really always want something like this after long outgrow original beloved games , but ... well , what else would there be ? live service gacha nightmares ? hard pass ! this is full game as is , and seem like even still have some stuff to add that was not quite in top shape at launch .

player get to fill characters' commissions , make surprise gifts , and also design without requests . right now find money is pretty easy to manage even when buy like 5 metres of velvets . characters fun to talk with , and when characters wear designs to high profile events , later news about those events will mention details of player's designs .

favourite character so far is probably alice , because alice is host to 2 walk-in spirits , and all 3 banter with each other for player to see . really hope alice is not made un-plural ! want to hold faith because every character have personal quirks , no reason to erase any . will do anything for this woman ! ( which include waste so much velvet . so much velvet . will have to make more designs that use weird small offcuts ... )

crosspost from minecraft tumblr . this is applicable to basically all walks of life , but this come up on radar frequently with minecraft youtube blogs , genuinely , hence specification of mcyters .

sometimes there is so much to talk about with bad and bigoted behaviour of mcyters - between big and small , between wholehearted and accidentally ignorant - that to actually keep up with everything can feel nightmarish , especially with expectation that everyone should have public opinions . 

in general , people often have impression that silence is out of centrism or attempt at " apoliticism " but honestly :

1. do not want to put foot in mouth by way of other people's words - possibly fail to fully grasp those words , possibly agree with some but not all , possibly struggle to pinpoint feelings and need more time , possibly do not have personal experiences with subject and want to not tokenise one specific opinion , and so on
2. especially do not want to put foot in mouth by way of personal words - not everything need everyone's personal input , and pressures to make personal opinions public can lead to rushed nonsense that later need to reconsider anyways

some people can handle those situations with grace , but already have enough troubles with words as is , and people will very happily pick apart " poor english " even further if not immediately perfect . so unless really feel like have something potentially useful to say , or at least can keep vent under control , do often prefer to just read . 

dreamwidth exclusive addendum :

today so far bring frustration . as is , already need to navigate projects with whims of so many people - everyone can have different preferences and comforts , even if able to lean back on collective skills at any time . try to work on ways to make digital project bin actually useful , because still not manage that .

but on top of that also need to deal with brain and body sometimes become molasses - migraines , weakness , so on . such day is good day to be gentle and rest , but sometimes people start up new projects instead , or at least want to make some kind of small contribution to something .

but of course , " fix up digital project bin " is another project . 

at one point , kossai make post about morning blurriness , and that never really figure out reason why this happen . in short , sometimes courtiers wake up without ability to identify self . not blur between multiple courtiers , more like blur between self and eira : courtier look inside and try to recall information about self , but fail .

sometimes courtiers can backtrack - " well , know X was here , so who did X reach out to next ? " - or use other hints , and continue until eventually reach epiphany of self . other times , even fail with this . usually will then look at log files ... but courtier this morning did not , instead settle on wrong conclusion based on backtrack , and then just go back to sleep . ( notably did not hit epiphany , just decide to not care and so this answer was good enough . )

that is funny in self , but also think that might be some kind of answer as to why : disruptive awakenings . this do not seem to guarantee blur , but some kind of disruption - even if fail to identify and remember because of sleep state - might just be common thread . noises outside , uncomfortable temperatures , various bodily pains and struggles ...

in hindsight this is much easier answer than originally think of , unpredictability just complicate searches .

when people say that antitheism is only correct solution , that even self-made religion is awful , because religions can become tools of control ... just have to wonder what those people think about psychiatry and medicine . these fields have lots to criticise and answer for , and that include forms of mass control , torture , and death . body and brain only have one " correct " mode , and everything else must be bent and broken to fit or erased entirely - society is not what need change , people is .

kossai almost always see such people treat psychiatry and medicine as true defaults of world , but would dare say there is no less harm , both potential and already-acted , in these fields than in religions . but never see any of these people then say that all of psychiatry and medicine should also cease to exist and fall out of records , only ever say this about religions . funny , huh ? almost like this is just excuse to never think about cultures other than one's own ( usually ) white western voidspace .

full truth of matter is that people who want to control will use anything as tool of control - divine , scientific , form is not important , would not solve anything to just whittle away parts of world . people can control each other with emotions , so people should not have emotions . with words , so people should not have language . with actions , so people should not have bodies ! ridiculous . can not help but feel sorry for these people in some sense , but also angry that seem to think answer to mass violence of persecutors is mass violence of persecuted . 

yeah actually , think can talk about that book which fall flat ... unfortunately really want to enjoy this one , but something at almost every turn hit wrong : the witch king by h.e. edgmon .

urban fantasy , kind of romance - wyatt is witch born to fae , and run away from home realm asalin after magical accident which kill parents . or ... not accident ? kind of accident ? wyatt can be unreliable , and everyone else take very staunch positions . however , wyatt was sworn to marry fae prince emyr due to soulmate bond , and now emyr emerge in human world to reclaim .

something which this book hold in common with a court of thorns and roses : fae is category essentially unrelated to legends of old . however , regrettably even that book hold more hints towards folklore than this one . ( jason figure this out , indeed . )

there is some intrigue in that soulmate bond , while wyatt hate emyr . some of internal monologues dig deeper and say that what wyatt really hate is expectations of bond and marriage , and just easiest to lash out directly at emyr . but in some of these situations emyr is literally too nice , and need to just shake shoulders .

hate how this book characterise briar . so much . briar could be strong and lovely character , but in every instance where briar is rightfully pissed off about something , there is some kind of distraction - like yummy food or silly animals - which instantly dissolve anger . fat girl love food and cute things , teehee , this is not horrible characterisation at all .

in spite of failures such as briar's characterisation , this book also go pretty heavy-handed on " twitter-friendly " political and social justice language , to point of exchange where one trans character accusatorily ask if briar consider cis to be slur , so that briar could have chance to explain relation to gender as indigenous woman . as explain with friend during attempts to read this book , briar's explanation in self would be fine and worthy of exploration , but character lead into this exchange with hostile expectations … just because that might be how people on twitter interpret .

2 straws really break this book , though will admit already on shaky ground for whole thing . 

first : during text message conversation , wyatt threaten to set emyr's dick on fire if ever talk about potential to have babies , as wyatt is transmasculine and do not want to carry pregnancy . emyr ask if " this is what wyatt is into " , like this moment was worthy of quirky joke . this is supposed to be romantic pair of book , not that ever feel like shred of romance really unfold - this was biggest moment where want to throttle emyr .

second : derek , emyr's cousin who is somewhere around 10 years older than both ( 17-18 , so at least 27-28 ) , drag wyatt out of dining hall to have private conversation ... in derek's bedroom , with pretty intense aggression . that whole scene feel like would turn into setup for sexual assault - not to say that wish this did happen , but completely give up on author after manage to set up this tone with such ignorance as to how this could come off . private garden ! hallway ! literally anywhere else but bedroom !

that genuinely sicken , so that was where give up and return to library for good . end up read spoiler reviews , and book never seem to get any better from there . some people say sequel was better , some say worse , know will not waste time either way . emyr and especially briar deserve better story , and wyatt deserve author who will not self-insert hard enough to get in way of character . some little shreds of interesting setting or plot , in between some awful characterisation and tone . maybe too old for this one , or maybe just not very good to begin with . 
~ " one of blue romance "

people seem to think very strange to craft items out of shed hair from household pets , but not at all strange to buy items crafted from unseen animals that might live far away . is this another situation where because process is out of sight , people just do not think about ?

of course , practicality is big part of why certain materials did and did not catch on - for example cat hair might be fine to needle felt decorations with , but have more concerns about durability when actually make yarn items , especially ones that might need regular clean . so then , is this idea strange to people simply because this is more of niche than practicality ? 

one particular comment people seem to have is that this is gross , and start to wonder why . is this more gross because people know what is inside of personal home , and know what household pets get up to ? when sheep live in some far-off farm , will never see what go into clean and prepare wool - might tempt to assume that wool is just naturally perfectly clean . or is " gross " just easiest word to describe unfamiliarity , as sometimes happen ?

alright , beta post editor really like to just not work sometimes , and right now seem to be one of those times . back to original for moment , at least have that choice :D

well , major overhaul to analogue faerie games list ! work on this basically all day . also have one for digital games in works , but that one is slightly less approachable with wide variety in platforms , easily 3 or 4 for some games . another great page would be for supplements and tables ...

yeah , maybe some of this is out of hand , but not like ever expect to get perfect lists . do rely on community copies for so many of these things , so least kossai can do is hype up and make easy to search for others to try and buy . itch collections can be too ephemeral , since hidden or deleted games will leave no trace , and also easy to lose games inside - absolute pain to shuffle order around . website control is also just more fun .

and now time to go faceplant because of time and energy sink >.>

honestly there is something that really feel like miss in life , and that is ability to treat mundanities like magics . titanium court give good examples of what mean . fae look at various street signs and attach meaning of magical runes , such that no parking signs outlaw letter P and stop signs compel onlookers to stop all actions . " magic word " can be any phrase at all , so long as recognisable - movie quotes , computer dialogue , and so on . books that refer to bucket list items which " must " be done will be seen as literal curse that bear down on human life , rather than as recommendations and reviews .

as well , fae refer to things in ways humans would not expect , or actively fight against ... there is egg that everyone else will insist is american football , like football is just any object with specific end-zone destination , even though certain prophecy will prove this to be egg . golf in particular is almost abstract concept , simply any game which take precision .

can make sense of these trains of thought , but also feel weird sort of envy that these thoughts no longer come first . have to know these things as humans intend , if not for literal navigation of world then at least social . that frustrate ! that really frustrate . do not get to simply un-know these things , and would be worse off if could .

sometimes would be fun just to feign , at least - point out how silly some of this iconography is , how things do not really make sense if step back . but as much as want to embrace such " weird appearances " and act like little glamourbomb , lack of speech in this world is such that people can instantly devalue any words and expressions . can not joke , can not wonder , can not do much of anything - all is ripe opportunity for someone to talk down and explain in slow ... simple ... words . necessary for some people , but this is only " strategy " that people know , to total exclusion of individual needs and personhoods !

of course this kind of thing could be game : look for magical and unexpected meanings in things that everyone take for granted , that long ago learn one-and-only answer to , but would not even be sure what to do with that . do not like situations where faeriehood is " game " that need to " end " - would be as preposterous as suggest same of humanity to orthohumans - but can not just stay without outlet either . ugh .