dancing in the faerie ring

continue to run into 3 million project ideas because different people like different areas and styles :P but anyway ! currently have pet island which include enclosures for various animals , but also villagers - both cured zombie villagers , as well as some stolen away from natural villages .

also have large central island , but most of that area is still entirely unused , just default forest generation . so idea is to bring more enclosures onto main island , and then repurpose original pet island into just false village . underground component is super cute , but think can work with this if turn each of those buildings into " exit point " where kossai can observe from , but without doors villagers can use . 

big idea , but hopefully others will like and can start to work on this >:)

even in comparison to many other collectives , kossai do feel like have somewhat unique relationship with body dysphoria .

front pass around on scale of hours , and bar very specific circumstances , do so with full control . there is nothing which can obligate someone specific to front , just one's own desire - could be days apart or full years apart .

one analogy that use is that of hotel room - although front is more of object than literal space , think work well enough for point here . front is not home which anyone is bound to , nor place where doors lock behind . do not get to control too much about how this room look , and have responsibility to keep in decent shape for whoever come around next , but can at least find things to appreciate even if not personal first choice . patterns in floor and ceiling become familiar , sometimes see wonderful things out of window , or even just enjoy utility of bed and desk .

room is something which choose to experience , and do not need to be in for very long . some who front find no discomfort at all because of this impermanence , others find discomfort is present but easily tolerable - not many at all find truly intolerable . of course would be nice if no one would need to feel at all , but for that would need perfect , fully accurate shapeshift ability and mainstream respect of plurality , which ... well , rather out of reach right now , sadly !

do not wish to feel worse or more intensely dysphoric , of course - feel like all in all pretty well off . like , in collectives where front is not well under control , people can be hit with incongruence at any time , possibly without any warning or time to prepare . in collectives where switches happen less frequently or get frontstuck , even experiences that start euphoric may sour , and ones that start dysphoric will drag on . in small collectives where maybe never have to deal with these kind of compromises , even one person who differ can feel like life play cruel joke .

definitely get why others see these experiences as universal , but think this is exactly why good to talk about difference .

could not resist urge to buy because this loop is really fun , so ... about 4 hours in now ! main loop is in wars that take match 3 high tide and tower defense low tide , with sprinkle of roguelike elements to bring together . even with losses player can get progressively stronger , so not necessarily horrible to lose ... which so far kossai lose every time , not actually sure yet what happen when win . unluck and mismanagement hooray ! 

there is also story which learn more about in court exploration segments , and really want to see where both characters and commentaries go , though game promise not to " lore dump " . do not want to say too much more yet , but will at least make important note of bright colours and surreal nature . nothing that flash so far as encounter , but have accessibility settings to reduce other motions , so hopefully that is good safety . as for surreal nature , there is lots of commentary on what people place value in or senselessly consider to be real , which include actually real objects and concepts - something to keep in mind if that sound like destabiliser .

to get slightly more in depth on this possible destabilisation : ( Read more... )

in most of life , this court do not really experience blurriness or identity confusion - closest thing would be when tip over personal threshold and start to wear down into exhaustion . still technically know who front , but do not fully feel like self anymore , need to get out and rest .

except in mornings , right after wake up . never really figure out pattern as to what make mornings blurry : sometimes wake up perfectly aware of self , sometimes need to retrace steps , occasionally need to give up and check whatever log say . but even when lost , can snap back into place once those reminders hit - or just toss front at someone else if really do not care - so this is inconsequential blip .

so far never find any actual correlations . frequency of front , time among court , clarity of dreams , hypnagogic experiences - none of these things seem to influence or cause this morning blur . at this point think only way to track would be to see if courtiers exhibit personal morning patterns , but that sound positively dull to track .

if certain people have consistent personal patterns , then sure , that is one more piece of information ... but how useful is that piece of information actually ? doubt there is any way to make this actionable , or if action would be worth effort since impact is so small - just become information for information's sake . and if people do not have consistent personal patterns , well , still have nothing to learn or to act on !

realistically , this might even just be up to total random chance of sleepy brain - and sleepy eira , at that .

there is something that wish more people would confront .

sometimes people use celtic languages , words , and concepts to mystify and exoticise in " non-appropriative " way , so no one on twitter will call out or whatever . after all , these cultures belong to oppressive UK , so that make just fine ... just ignore all of history as to why part of UK , and that languages face down endangerment if not extinction . some hang on with struggle , some die out , some only exist today through efforts of reconstruction , reanimated by love and pride and spite .

people brag about chosen celtic names , misspelled into different words or nonsense entirely , or with complete opposite gender connotation , and no awareness of this . would be fine for celtic people to make these subversions on purpose ! but this is never that - hunky romance leads named like little old ladies , americans named in careless approximations , because who would really notice ?

and how often do these people know historical context of concepts like hiraeth ? almost never . people in alterhuman and plural communities love hiraeth , as this concept of " home that no longer exist " . what miss is context of painful history - home no longer exist because invaders take and destroy , this is baked into concept of hiraeth . can someone without histories like mynydd epynt , like capel celyn , like children beaten for use of native language , really make claim to understand hiraeth as this word is meant to be known ? do not think senselessly gatekeep to say no - there is reason why words like homesick , nostalgia , and yearn already exist in english .

these cultures exist in general eye as just things to serve fantasy , then deflect criticism because british , so basically open and free to use - never mind that some people will get genuinely violent about insistence of celtic cultures and peoples as british ones , given bloody history that bring here .

all of this is just for fun in personal world , not commentary on what minecraft try to impart . those questions deserve separate answers !

so ... this world is fae world . not just that fae live here , but that fae menace overtake . of course , fae would argue that humans step beyond boundaries first - humans lack enough respect for world , destroy and slaughter just to take , even try to take advantage of fae . if humans want to do these things , then must face consequences . villagers , traders , witches , and illagers all act as stand-ins for different human factions . 

villagers try to live in peace despite this world , go about daily lives inside of walls and use magics to animate iron protectors . these protectors will be hostile to fae on sight , even if manage to get inside walls . villages without protections can become subjects of curses , abductions , and other setbacks , so every line of defense is important . humans once set up roads for travel amongst each other , but now fae take over , haunt villages just from outskirts and lay traps to tempt those unwise enough to travel . 

traders stand in for general travellers - humans who travel between villages in order to share resources and aid , or explore in hopes of find lost villagers . however this lifestyle of travel can also make easy targets for fae , so travellers must take extra personal precautions . some travellers might even set up waypoints , camps , and other semi-permanent sources of aid along roads for one another - but just as well fae catch onto this and sometimes imitate . 

witches stand in for solitary magic users , who still usually find alignment with villagers but can not stand intentions to just hide away . these magic users live solitary in order to run magical experiments away from where others may be hurt - but without enough precaution , can lead to personal death and ruin .

illagers stand in for humans who patrol and fight fae menace directly , and in some cases , also raid villages of those who cower away from fae menace . these humans understand how fae work , and that contact with fae can allow magic to take root in mind and body . those villagers who roll over and accept fate may be just as dangerous as fae , whether or not will admit , and need to die as well . 

fae , of course , like when humans live in villages - corralled , cowardly , so easy to rule over . fae also think travellers can be very fun , and love to find new ways of trick . solitary magic users less fun , but also not often threat to anyone but self , sometimes all that need to do is just wait . raiders and patrollers make for least fun , because not only want to hurt fae and pretty well equipped to do so , but also want to hurt villages ! 

there is one aspect introduced by no iron challenge in particular : illager structures provide only source of carved pumpkins , as these require iron shears to create . as such , some forms of animation actually off limits to fae , where illagers essentially protect . by genuine coincidence , pillager outpost spawn right outside of central island where kossai set up main fae base ! 

do genuinely care for these characters and stories , even if mostly unnamed and sometimes hide through scraps . really enjoy creation of earlier ruins where humans try to fight or escape in less organised state , and meet fate through that , but also love to build up villages and protect villagers . this world is mostly in creative mode right now , but survival mode heists become much more fun when actually need to weave through paths and hide in nooks to avoid protectors ! 

out of roleplay , do not even think raiders and patrollers evil , just work on incredibly fucked up model . protection of world is no doubt important cause , but fae obviously tyrannical here , and relish in that tyranny . each faction of humans aim to protect humanity , but in different ways , each with strengths and flaws . 

name is effectively word that assign to someone to call forth attention and presence . in that sense , names and words intertwine , and only difference is in expectation - names belong to " proper " things like people pets and businesses , words belong to everything else .

names carry power over people because names represent self , and often carry reflections of something unalienable within self . some might even argue that for this reason , even deadnames and other discarded names still hold some form of power , though many in kossai tend to disagree or at least find much more nuanced . most powerful name will always be one - or ones - that identify with strongest . 

even aliases can become names , if one is not careful . anything that use for identification can , even down to colours and symbols . there is line that need to be quite careful with - and risk that need to take into account . 

someone once mention SCP-4000 to kossai , which detail forest of fae inhabitants where even repeated descriptions count as names to give power . therefore , each of these descriptors is colour coded to indicate same reference . but that too can be form of name : green always indicate general place , blue always refer to entrance , brown to safe pathways . even in colourblind mode , each one represent with different font , which also establish name of sorts .

again , some might like to argue that non-spoken names must be different in some way , but that would also suggest names in sign languages lesser , or somehow function differently ... and that is most certainly not true . no matter what , these things still function as indicators to specific references regardless of form .

mitigations can still help in some way , such as detached descriptors , or use of quote marks and reference to alias rather than name , but still ... risk remain . there is chance that might begin to change how handle comic and post aliases , because even those who choose public ones start to find some discomfort . " antler " ring more like potential name than " antlered one " , if that should make sense . 

of course , in digital world especially names alone do not hold same kind of weight , but this is still part of culture here that prefer to honour . 

crosspost from tumblr @ arcadianhope .
to be honest , never actually fight " new " dragon fight - new in quotes because this date back to 2016 as far as java go . and not entirely sure if want to ? problem is would like option to build in end dimension , but ever since first play minecraft - despite intentions of opposite - really like to see dragon as protector of dimension . 

some kind of dragon paradise build would be so cute , but ender dragon would obviously instantly destroy unless completely disable mobgriefing rule - which , unfortunately , also disable useful passive actions like allays gather chosen items or villagers pick up food to breed with . can mojang not just separate this out ? maybe even make way more granular toggles ! whatever , point is , no dice on that idea right now which is sad . would also not be safe to traverse in survival mode at all , which is another option that prefer to keep open when possible . pbbbt . 
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like really ! there is only one dragon in this world , and one lone egg after . if there is any other dragon out there , where ? maybe other dragons hide for safety , but why would this one come out into open ? if there is no other dragon anywhere else , this is even more of question - why not hide away and protect self as last bastion ?

conclusion might be that this one take risk of openness to protect something - whatever this dragon protect is more important to protect than self . maybe end dimension used to be more vibrant , more alive , and this dragon is last keeper of that history . or maybe end dimension is meant to be exactly as appear now , fairly barren islands among void , and ender dragon protect from merciless colonisation that would lead to destruction . 

regardless of any developer and writer intention across minecraft franchise , always think ender dragon feel like protective force , not destructive one - player perspective highlight destructive nature simply because player is threat to dimension . 

just wish could actually reflect this in game - disable fight , disable destruction without impede on other game aspects , and build in harmony with dragon . 

often find ways that want to make up for lack of high school education and study from current resources , but have no idea how to actually make notes and really intake . notes that take for tests just immediately flush away when test end , as probably most people experience from school , so not like really learn ... well , how to learn information long term . 

know how to learn from experiences - like , any language is struggle , but part of how manage to stick things in head is through study notebooks in that language , no english whatsoever . every word that need definition earn little picture - not exact examples since this is on paper not digital , but say , 静か 🔕 / 暗い 🌑 / 夜 🌃 . every grammatical concept get highlight of not only what is right , but also what is wrong - ✅ 静かな夜 ；暗い夜  ❌ 静か夜 ；暗いな夜 . study materials that read from might be in english , but make into experience without .

but can not really make everything into experiences , or at least , not immediately . could try to build concepts from geography lessons in minecraft , but that is really hard to direct alongside learn information . still need to take in information to know how to direct ! so if struggle to take in information , can not really direct experiences either . little bit of chase around in circles . 

wish could find some kind of metric for what qualify as hypersensitive . not that care overly much for diagnosis , especially when there is no real management - which is often true for kossai - but metric and measurement of experiences can be useful to at least communicate . 

but how long do people usually feel sting after minor injury like bump ? what about cut or scrape , things that draw blood ? throughout whole life when people lay into kossai as crybaby , nuisance boy who cry wolf , do kossai literally feel pain stronger and for longer than anyone else could even imagine ?