on radqueer cycles

[kossai]

crosspost from tumblr .
kossai do not really like to go on about opinions and concerns about rad-queers and trans-ids - simple fact is that have reasons to dislike and be wary , and make choice to block active community blogs which come into radar , and usually just leave at that .

but honestly do feel sorry for good amount of these folks - can see ways in which struggle , ways which try to cope . atypical dysphorias can be very real frustrations and not easy to deal with , not to mention how folks under stress and trauma might want to seek out more due to familiarity , to recontextualise and make trauma feel safe , or have revenge fantasies to enact on others .

and with all of that , often have genuine worry ? so many of these folks teens who already starve of proper social skills and affections , and some of behaviours which these communities encourage will further stunt - whether that is to ignore criticisms of behaviours and bigotry , to seek out " perfect match " in someone who will happily bully and abuse , or really any number of possibilities .

as well , some of these folks get so personal , and that is extremely hard to take back control . cliche as this is , this is why kossai recommend others go to private journals and documents before anything that touch internet - even if something is behind password , assume anything on internet to effectively be public . never know when data breaches or account hacks might strike .
and fact is that , unfortunately , live in world where people can use that information to bite back and hurt - whether deny future school or job opportunities , or cyberstalk and harass for personal entertainment .

there is also so much vitriol for rad-queers , often under assumption of just seek attention , not really try to observe or understand anyone in depth . so even those who want to leave might feel stuck , unable to find new friend groups and communities that will not reject specifically due to social shortcomings and unsavoury community history . that leave prime to either re-entry into these spaces , or other horrible communities and outright cults .

wish there could be any one , easy answer . but this is life - there never is . that said though , think vitriol is definitely not part of answer - still free to dislike and be wary , kossai would be hypocritical to say otherwise ! but try to dig in and understand why , and to be safe for those who really want to leave , relearn lost skills and become mindful of boundaries again . not everyone will , but be kind for those who do .