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kossaipreface
want to make clear that none of this post is to say that any variation or trait is inherently nonhuman regardless of circumstance , this is just personal experience of kossai . medical and psychiatric systems have uses , and where circumstances safe , not necessarily bad to investigate these avenues .
please do not trust anyone who say that any variation is definite sign of something nonhuman or magical , such as extraterrestrial status - this is not journey which others can decide outcome . this is especially important if not yet investigate medical or psychiatric avenues , or if circumstances of mind or body recently change after medical event , emotional trauma , or other big life event .
under cut for length , and general discussion of frustrations in psychiatric and medical systems .
in terms of brain
when kossai was younger , did more closely identify with diagnoses . X diagnosis explain this thought , Y diagnosis explain that one - well , this stuff here is hard to categorise , but surely belong somewhere .
but find that no matter how many diagnoses kossai get , ways to explain what happen in body and brain ... nothing actually help people to understand or sympathise . some of these get diagnose just on stereotype or snap judgment and so later remove from record , where others of these kossai fall beyond social acceptability and so other people - even those who share diagnosis - refuse to respect . additionally , some experiences never get tie down to diagnosis , and will never pursue one now .
as well , some traits develop naturally , while others develop in answer to various pains and traumas . much prefer not to name as any singular box of diagnosis , but instead find names of individual traits and discuss that way . also choose to prioritise personal happiness and safety , even if contradict societal ideals of recovery - some people might find those methods help , but others will not .
to tie rigidly into diagnosis can make this even worse , kossai notice : everything is grand sign of this horrid disorder , and more important to remove disorder at any cost . would much rather live in world where understand these traits as more neutral , and get freedom of choice in how to manage . if choice bring happiness and truth of heart without infringe on freedom or safety of anyone else , is anything else really that important ?
in terms of body
kossai find more use in body diagnoses , but not much sometimes . here would say have 3 main categories : natural faerie variations that humans deem abnormal , complications of faerie attempts to mimic human body , and things which can happen simply by nature of physical body .
in first category , kossai would include things like differences of spine , posture , and gait . frankly even under human framework , there is very little if anything to do about these traits , so whether view as human or faerie make no real difference . this spine do not sit quite like humans expect , so posture and gait adapt for this spine , and can only somewhat re-train before actually hurt more .
as well , some other traits in this first category have diagnosis names , but kossai fall outside bounds of what that diagnosis " should be " - as if doctors give up and simply use closest name . this is where usually prefer just to name traits individually , unless legally need to use full name of diagnosis .
in second category , kossai would include things like digestive and skin conditions . faeries not necessarily able to tolerate all aspects of human foods , so body reject certain things . in practise that is not much different from typical human digestive sensitivities , and human-equivalent diagnoses have no treatments to speak of other than trigger avoidance , so that is what kossai do .
like first category , names can be helpful to discuss with others , but might not always fall into expectations - and treatments that do exist , like medications or therapies , might fail to help . pain killers just make dizzy and sick without any help for pain , skin creams ineffective , that sort of thing .
in third category , would include various kinds of acute physical injury and damage . for example , one medication which attempt to take actually just dangerously spike liver enzymes - obviously , not safe to continue with that . likewise , can still get cuts and bleed , and while never in situation to break bone before , still could if not careful . nature of physical body is to deal with physical damage as well , human or not .
for kossai this is where modern names and treatments , particularly wound care or surgery if necessary , work best . otherwise , again come down to avoidance of triggers - even if that trigger is treatment for something else - and careful choices to avoid injury as well .
overall ?
kossai experience with diagnoses , in both medical and psychiatric systems , is : sometimes helpful , and sometimes not , both of which carry bloody and cruel histories - very critical of both systems .
while there is use to diagnoses and treatments , modern professionals do not always know how to handle complexities and comorbidities , or hope to deny patient autonomy and happiness in interest of normalise . some diagnoses have huge , awful stigma , and this may empower doctors to justify denial of autonomy .
while doctors would not have means or desire to confirm kossai as physically faerie , these traits root in faeriehood , and go through plenty of rigmarole to desperately try and fit within human standards . but to be honest , some of these standards barely even fit for humans . would be good for anyone to remember that .
