want people to just say what really mean
Feb. 15th, 2026 10:23 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kossairecently on tumblr , there was fictorose blog which receive and answer question of whether fictorose people would date fictionfolk that share identity of one's f/o . this was in public kin-based tags , and feel like answer was somewhat dismissive to fictionfolk identities , so try to explain . and really , conversation did not last long at all , but for some reason still in head - maybe because never get final answer , and brain treat as unfinished . hopefully then this post may help .
part of this answer was that , due to circumstances , fictionfolk is " not 100% that character " - and take umbrage with that , because that honestly just make things unclear . notice that many people's f/os often step outside of canon , sometimes very far at that , for various reasons - canon was not well written , connect at different point in life than canon present , connect with specific AU or little-known iteration , or otherwise . but " not 100% that character " , would understand to be rude and pointless statement .
think overall more accurate to say that random fictionfolk will never be exact match for one's f/o . fictionfolk who claim to match one's f/o is something that is pretty certain to be manipulation tactic , frankly - and otherwise , fictionfolk may share core identity , but will still be different for various reasons . some of those reasons come down to personal memories and experiences of source world , and others come down to circumstances of current life - but unless choose to see this way , those do not make identity " less " than 100% character .
other core here is that , of course , relationship with fictionfolk would be like any other relationship with another physical person , whether or not long distance - can not simply imagine scenes or create art and feel partner is able to understand and reciprocate . to maintain relationship , need to communicate with someone else in physical circumstances who might need to deal with some level of school , or work , or whatever , and actually schedule things to do together . and things can go wrong - and can not just imagine scenarios to fix , or go through scenarios over and over again to fine-tune .
and that tend to be real core here for most fictorose people - even if personally develop headmate of exact f/o , that still add new considerations , let alone if date fictive from another external collective . so wish people like OP would just say that , rather than this dance around that fictionfolk identity is not real enough , which is just dismissive and honestly unclear about actual boundaries . do not think fictorose people should feel any kind of obligation to date fictionfolk , but think should be clear about why choose to not .
part of this answer was that , due to circumstances , fictionfolk is " not 100% that character " - and take umbrage with that , because that honestly just make things unclear . notice that many people's f/os often step outside of canon , sometimes very far at that , for various reasons - canon was not well written , connect at different point in life than canon present , connect with specific AU or little-known iteration , or otherwise . but " not 100% that character " , would understand to be rude and pointless statement .
think overall more accurate to say that random fictionfolk will never be exact match for one's f/o . fictionfolk who claim to match one's f/o is something that is pretty certain to be manipulation tactic , frankly - and otherwise , fictionfolk may share core identity , but will still be different for various reasons . some of those reasons come down to personal memories and experiences of source world , and others come down to circumstances of current life - but unless choose to see this way , those do not make identity " less " than 100% character .
other core here is that , of course , relationship with fictionfolk would be like any other relationship with another physical person , whether or not long distance - can not simply imagine scenes or create art and feel partner is able to understand and reciprocate . to maintain relationship , need to communicate with someone else in physical circumstances who might need to deal with some level of school , or work , or whatever , and actually schedule things to do together . and things can go wrong - and can not just imagine scenarios to fix , or go through scenarios over and over again to fine-tune .
and that tend to be real core here for most fictorose people - even if personally develop headmate of exact f/o , that still add new considerations , let alone if date fictive from another external collective . so wish people like OP would just say that , rather than this dance around that fictionfolk identity is not real enough , which is just dismissive and honestly unclear about actual boundaries . do not think fictorose people should feel any kind of obligation to date fictionfolk , but think should be clear about why choose to not .
