on pagan childhood

as say before , kossai grow up pagan . come to think that others might be curious , so , here is little about experiences .

first , did not have more specific label to describe back then . now though would say both wiccan influences , and general new age influences . as well , both " parents " come from originally christian backgrounds , and did not shake all those attitudes off . still , did not learn much in depth about christianity , or much of other religions - anything which did learn was through peers . 

grow up with faerie stories - and yes , faerie fixation . even so , parents did not quite entertain this as real identity . still not really sure of why exactly , only that come to view as somehow childish and wrong .
have memories of try to test psychic abilities , as well as walks to go look for magical things . could be faeries , could be magical objects , or special places of power . remember learn how to feel out life and potential in objects , which is still large part of views today .

did also know solstices and equinoxes - but in practise , still mostly celebrate applicable ones on christian holidays . part was convenience - already so close together sometimes - but also , familiarity . everyone else in near family was still christian : there was no way to really get away without entirely opt out .
did also learn idea that christian holidays all just bastardise pagan ones , such as yule turn to christmas , but do seem more complicate than that now .

kossai grow up with spellbooks , and remember study intensely , try to carry out ones that sound fun even if not quite able - was not until teens would start to experiment and make new spells , explore what kossai feel that magic really is .
other childhood topics include astral projection , auras , divination of many kinds , meditation and trances , reincarnation , and spirits of all kinds as truly real . learn to view sun , moon , and earth as gods , and of guardians like cernunnos .

still , not all fun . remember incidents where one of parents would get too enthusiastic about potential friends come to visit , would show something magical and pagan , for family of those potential friends to then say can not ever visit again , not even allow hang out at school . ( as if could enforce that , but , threat was usually enough to scare off . )

as well , openness of label means get exposure to other pagan and new age groups - not all of which have best interests in heart . from these experiences , kossai have very negative opinions on concepts like " vibration " , as well as western bastardisations of karma and chakras , and other appropriative concepts . some of these groups , effectively , christianity in pagan paint - never could stick around those for long .

also did not learn very well about discernment : everything that could have magical explanation always did - even if that explanation was suspect to start with . kids did not have disabilities , would be crystal children , indigo children , old souls . that century old barn was not on verge of collapse , but full of ghosts . crystals and good thoughts could heal woes entirely . want something hard enough , and will simply happen .
everything which kossai know about discernment is selves taught , and is something which try to strongly encourage in others .

if kossai could ever parent , then in terms of religion , would make discernment , ability to question , and respect for world absolute top priorities to teach kids .
there is magic everywhere , but there is also mundanity - and both equally important , equally real . mundane methods can help with magical problems , as can magical methods with mundane problems , but still have to learn how to tackle in appropriate way as well . anyone who try to fully solve mundane with magic is con artist .

and to be honest , journey is still not really over . will not be until death - that is nature of all this , and think that is wonderful .