faerie gifts ~ assemblage of thoughts

[kossai]

question from tumblr :
You mentioned something about not leaving haphazard gifts for fae, which obviously makes a lot of sense, though I was curious if there are any basic things to know about the dos and don't of offering gifts to fae? I imagine such things are a case by case basis and would depend on the fae in question and any number of other factors, but are there any things that are good to keep in mind when considering if a gift is more likely to be appreciated or offending?

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answer :

hehehe , did hope someone would ask to elaborate on clothes thing - this sound like great reason ! ;D

somewhat long under cut , with thoughts on various kinds of objects - and some non-objects .

so , even that is not universal to faeries necessarily , but good rule of thumb for brownies , hobs , and other household protectors . to leave gift of clothes - even if mean well , like to give clean and unbroken clothes - is one of easiest ways to offend and lose favour .

think about this way , clothes mean lots to humans , different cultures have different tastes , different symbolisms , things that set apart from neighbours . clothing gifts to neighbours can be kind and genuine , maybe someone do not have good clothes for weather in this particular place - but can also be insult or threat . insult that these clothes somehow inadequate just because gifter fail to understand , insult due to miscommunications of symbolism and style , or even threat of assimilation and erase culture of home .

even in days of yore , would be hard to lay eyes on these folk and fae , as often prefer to work in peaceful nights without interruption . but those who do see , and where sight do not already offend , might think that clothes look like no more than rags and tatters , and need replacement . but this is human assumption , not faerie truth - these clothes may tell of grand personal stories , and might be much sturdier and warmer than appear .

( some stories also tell of similar folk who do not work by choice , but rather force of magic , and clothes represent freedom from this magic . not directly relate to this discussion , but also worth note ! there can be trends and common threads , but like anything else in life , there is never just one single answer across folklore . )

would say to also probably steer away from natural origin gifts - flowers , leaves , rocks and crystals , though reasons why variable between faeries . some have connections to parts of earth , and therefore these gifts may as well be dead child or pet . in other cases , this just come off as very low thought and presumptuous - if one assume faeries to all be guardians of nature , and therefore assume to all enjoy natural gifts , well ... yeah , low thought .

very processes to get these things can also be cruel and destructive , whether forcefully pluck flower or buy crystals that come from destructive mines that use child and slave labour . obviously this is not always true - might gather leaves during autumn , get permission from plant to take cuts , or participate in local dig events that do not use nearly so much destruction and cruelty - but very important to think about , and another reason these gifts might be seen as low thought .

of course , that is kind of at odds with one of usual pieces of faerie gift advice - that faeries tend to like shiny things . this is grey area , especially since most often will not know jewellery and crystal origins for sure - and can not just un-make these pieces , nor undo destruction . best advice is kind of just to use discretion and have conversation - older pieces may be safer than newer pieces , handmade and unique pieces may be safer than mass market ones .

but biggest piece of advice overall : keep in mind things like barriers and veils . faerie might well accept gift , but that gift will not just up and move somewhere else , nor completely spirit away to faerie realm . human-side physical form of that object is likely to remain exactly where left , unless some kind of human-side physical disturbance happen . this is not sign of offense , this is just logistics issue of ... well , barriers .

some faeries can get really crabby if need to move personal possessions around , so plan gifts around that - and if ever definitely need to move this , please say something to faerie in question ! food can also be pretty dodgy - faerie might eat energy or other " non-physical " aspects of food , but that still leave original object in place . depend on practises , this may not be consider safe to eat anymore even if still in great physical condition , or at least disappointment and social taboo .

this also means that really need to be mindful with gifts left outside where weather and other forces at play - food or drink should be safe for wildlife that might encounter , and objects should be safely biodegradable , or set up in such way to minimise risk of spread harmful materials into earth . general environmental courtesy , faerie gift or not .

of course , gifts do not have to be objects - fun times spent together just as much gifts , and may be safer in some ways . tell stories from life , invite faerie to watch something fun ( movies , games , crafts ) , share human world recipes , sing and make music ... just be careful with that last one , because faerie might like enough to participate - recipe for faerie trance , which really need trust in each other to indulge !