changeling the dreaming ~ oops .

[kossai]

start out with prelude to test some things , between some tweaks , tiny bit of custom stuff , and just general systems ...
seem to turn into impromptu therapy .

well , TTRPG probably would not be weirdest therapy .

Comments

There are some games that play deliberately in that Tough Feelings space

[dismallyoriented]

-though those are definitely ones to get into with an open mind and ready heart. Sometimes you just want to have a fun adventure. But yeah, absolutely in the indie space there are people who design for it intentionally, and even if I never play the games they are a good experience to read through. Brave Sparrow is a game by Avery Alder about being a sparrow trapped in a human body and tackling the impossible task of trying to get your wings back. It is one part creative writing exercise, one part anarchist manual, and one part narrative toolkit for healing from transgender dysphoria and trauma. The entire thing is beautifully written and there are many aspects of the game that resonated with me, but the most was the ritual for trying to regain your feathers.

After collecting 3 bird feathers through the requirements of the game, you were supposed to do a combination quest, after which you held the feathers to your arm and believed as thoroughly and strongly as possible that they were yours, that they would grow back. And like, excepting a sudden feat of genuine magic, the ritual would fail and the feathers would fall. But the point was to keep trying, to keep reaching for that better self and believe you could do it one day. And that was really important to me as a trans man, because like. So Avery Alder is a trans woman, and a lot of her games from that period dealt with magic and transformation in that way. Reading that passage, it resonated with me and the process of my own transition. That first year and a half when I was still figuring shit out, I had to believe in my ability to become a guy, even when it seemed physically impossible in my body, even when I barely had an idea of what that boy looked like, I *had* to believe in him, and keep reaching for him over and over and over. Until one day the feathers stuck.

Not everyone is so lucky to become what they are in that way. But that was an important piece of magic to convey.