artistic self hate is kind of sad

do get sad when people post art with captions that just ... self hate . this sucks , terrible artist , sorry to waste time , things like that .

with captions like that , at best , will get answers that feel more like pity than true interest , because people want to be nice and reassure - especially when do enjoy !
and at worst , people will choose not to answer or share because cruel to self - even if really do enjoy - because cruelty make people feel bad , even if not target .

and … some people compare selves to others , especially when start out ... to see someone with more skill and experience declare self horrible and incompetent can really hurt . self hate is not humility , and to voice self hate can hurt others , as well as set self in cycle to just continue . if always feel bad about art , likely will not see and get to appreciate even when improve .

no … self hate for art do not help . not one magic formula to stop self hate happen at all , but at least , can try to voice that hate less . look for good details in own work , admire that put heart out there , admire that art is different from others . be proud when express what want to express , even - or especially - if result is " technically incompetent " .

kossai wish keep more of childhood and teenage art . at 16 delete many old bad pieces , because whatever , right ? but … now miss those things , wish could look back . that art was unique , and expressive , and sometimes just plain silly .
so … be gentle on self as artist . keep records , find good things , voice that angry self hate less .

edit : also maybe humility sucks anyways . loudly shout " this fucks " over meaningless scribbles . live life . >:)

wabbajack roadblocks

latest journeys of thali ...

finally remember to do azura quest . get lost in mountains and find oblivion gate instead . once again ignore oblivion gate ... swear will get to those someday , but always pop up when busy .
when in mines , sneak exploit to gain 4 levels in sneak like naughty cheater boy ... just run up against wall that have enemies on other side .
get azura star . yay !

let llevana kill ulrich leland . head into paint world , then steal 7 paintbrushes from painter . use paintbrushes to see sheogorath statue better .
finally need soul trap to make use of star . axe enchant with soul trap , but axe also empty on charge . apparently mages guild members can charge enchantments , but could not get this to happen , no one would offer . so instead buy soul trap spell , after much struggle to figure out who even sell .

find out could not even use spell so angrily spawn in soul trap scroll . axe now charge up ... and need find out how to get mysticism levels to never deal with that again .