sheogorath & haskill ~ depths

honestly , favourite way to interpret sheogorath and haskill is queerplatonic .
in sense of what people usually regard as love , sheogorath can only love self . this work out fair enough with plurality , but why ? well , madness can be fickle . no real way to guarantee that someone will not become subject of delusions , impulsive cruelty , or otherwise - and even little things can provoke these changes . could sheogorath fall in love with anyone who is not sheogorath ? maybe , in theory - though , kossai do not consider thaliendir as exception to this rule : destiny already mark thaliendir as sheogorath , just not fully real until after fight against jyggalag . 

in any case , think early on sheogorath would realise that relations with mortals would be ... not worth troubles . to love someone , to suddenly hate or fear , to take action and kill and then come to senses , realise that mangle body and lose lover ? that pain would be immense - because sheogorath can and do care for people , no matter misconceptions . sheogorath plead champion to run before jyggalag can appear , because sheogorath is aware jyggalag will slay regardless , and can not bear thought to return and realise yet again someone so special is dead . 

but … haskill can not die . haskill is not mortal , understand what madness is like - if sheogorath rant about delusion of haskill , if sheogorath snap and throw vases , that is not personal . not ideal , and certainly expect respect and dignity of apology when air clear up , but not personal . haskill and sheogorath understand each other in ways no one else could . without sheogorath , haskill would not be haskill - and maybe even in some ways , without haskill , sheogorath would not be sheogorath . 

haskill see highest highs and lowest lows of sheogorath . haskill see greymarch , see what happen when greymarch is over , when everything is desolate and there is no one left , and all sheogorath can do is stare numbly . haskill is there , always , to pick up pieces and help sheogorath move through . of course , of course haskill - even when all hope should be lost - refuse to give up , give champion as much information as possible , reveal secrets of realm . if there is any chance this will work , for sheogorath to not have to go through that again - possibly ever again ? then absolutely must . 

and this did work .  haskill could always see thaliendir have that spark , and so happy to prove right , to hopefully now ensure safety for shivering isles and sheogorath . but until anything can possibly prove otherwise - until haskill have to find out if this was worth trouble , worth pain , or if there was some flaw which never account for until too late - haskill will protect and guide this new sheogorath , as always after each greymarch . 
bittersweet and strange , to watch thaliendir through years . to see this man lose grip on mortality , question what identity is or is not , at times ready to run and hide away from this new self … haskill feel guilty that sheogorath can even feel pains of mortal man - but mortal man regardless , this is lord sheogorath , and haskill exist to serve . 

no , not romantic - but this is just as deep and just as real . sheogorath depend on haskill , haskill depend on sheogorath , and to separate would be to utterly change both .

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knights of the nine

so this whole time with elder scrolls series , either not really think about religion much , or hone in on sheogorath and trauma from imperial religion . never really explore divines positively !

so actually ... really like knights of the nine so far . kind of fun to play someone who contradict everything else which build up ? though questions might be in future , indeed .
some of these things genuinely tug at heartstrings though , and kellen ... yeah . yeah , honestly . and kynareth's whole grove , beautiful . 

ellona ~ basic history

if one was to ask ellona about birth family , would not really have any answers . bosmer , obviously , but anything else might as well be mystery .
ellona was sickly in childhood , and even early on show signs of cognitive failures - survival was nothing short of gift . family did not so much treasure this gift , however , and relinquish ellona . would spend part of early childhood in orphanage , before adoption by kindly nord man from bruma , gunnar fire-heart .

gunnar have sad history , as well - single father to sweet young girl , alva , who meet unfortunate early demise . like ellona , alva could not speak - gunnar know from experience how easily people look over and abandon , as alva's mother did this , and refuse to let ellona suffer that fate . though ellona could never meet alva , would hear stories and dream of older sister , even as ellona far surpass in age .

as expect , ellona did struggle with cognitive tasks that would be simple to anyone else . gunnar refuse to give up hope even so , and push with full might to teach ellona everything possible - games , songs , and stories galore . ellona would learn to read and write through gunnar's efforts , and as well imperial sign language and basics in old nordic sign . in addition , one of few fellow bosmer would teach basics in bosmeri sign , though never get too far without other opportunities to use .

from gunnar , ellona would learn of traditional nordic pantheon - kyne was of particular interest and comfort , to slight amusement of gunnar . ( bosmeri heart will always be bosmeri , perhaps . )
ultimately , gunnar was kind father , and always put forth best love and effort - even when things get very , very hard . even so , sometimes wonder if that will truly be enough ... ellona could potentially outlive by 100 , maybe even 200 years .
of course , only one way to find out : to let ellona face world .

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