ponder ...

like to keep files pretty well organise . there is one area that consistently struggle in , however : spirituality , magic , and religion .

for some reason , just can not keep any one solution in place for very long before another one sprout up ... and then another ... and another . by this point , definitely have 3 to 5 slightly different permutations of some things . on one hand , that is really neat way to see how thoughts change over time . on other hand , this is pretty useless to look through without some specific organisation scheme .

to get any use out of these random assemblies , kossai have to ... guess what ? make another organisation scheme . and that too will fall out of use , and therefore become part of cycle ... bah !!! 

curiosity

do wonder about commonality of phantom organ sensations in particular . never really feel organs in same way as external bodily parts , but still subconsciously know sensations of weight and position , where even little differences can be internally detectable and lead to weird cascade of effects . 

do sometimes get pain at actual incision sites , but never entirely sure if scar tissue , phantom pain , or mix of both . but swear also sometimes feel like actual phantom part is still there , even though was never consciously aware of how presence feel . shit is weird , that is for sure .