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Entry tags:
manners
avid follower of dailymanners on tumblr , and really think about possibly pick up that miss manners book which recommend so much - or maybe could ask and see if anyone have more specific recommendations ( see end of post ) .
for one think there is push back against idea of stuffy etiquette that " no one will ever use " , and like ... can understand part of that , where expectations of etiquette tie to classism , racism , and other horrible things .
but - wish could find this post again , because sort of make reconsider - remember post in which someone say that even this idea of stuffy formal dinner etiquette do not have to be about demand for perfection . can just as much serve to make even field for everyone to feel at ease with possibly awkward situations - everyone who know these rules do not have to worry about what to do in this situation or that , how to signal this or that , because etiquette outline already , and instead able to focus on good time . but just as much , if someone lack this knowledge , can redefine that etiquette to match - even if anyone else would consider horribly impolite . really like that idea .
from what understand , this book in particular is more about general social situations and manners , but that is helpful too - especially if no one ever sit down and explain things , if have history of abusive relationships of all stripes , already at disadvantage and under higher scrutiny , and so on . which ... ha , well , that is familiar to kossai .
of course , well ... faerie . have bad relationship with ideas of change and fit in , but then , some of this is not really about that . some of this is how to keep situations from boil over , or how to recover from mistakes and apologise , more than how to fit in . do not really want to fit in - struggle and will forever struggle with that idea - but when not able to speak , people can really flounder and things can get awkward , especially if not have even basic sign knowledge . maybe at least if have more idea of what speakers do , can find something to adapt and maybe flounder less .
and also , hehe , idea of faeries study up on human manners is funny little rush of joy . :P
for one think there is push back against idea of stuffy etiquette that " no one will ever use " , and like ... can understand part of that , where expectations of etiquette tie to classism , racism , and other horrible things .
but - wish could find this post again , because sort of make reconsider - remember post in which someone say that even this idea of stuffy formal dinner etiquette do not have to be about demand for perfection . can just as much serve to make even field for everyone to feel at ease with possibly awkward situations - everyone who know these rules do not have to worry about what to do in this situation or that , how to signal this or that , because etiquette outline already , and instead able to focus on good time . but just as much , if someone lack this knowledge , can redefine that etiquette to match - even if anyone else would consider horribly impolite . really like that idea .
from what understand , this book in particular is more about general social situations and manners , but that is helpful too - especially if no one ever sit down and explain things , if have history of abusive relationships of all stripes , already at disadvantage and under higher scrutiny , and so on . which ... ha , well , that is familiar to kossai .
of course , well ... faerie . have bad relationship with ideas of change and fit in , but then , some of this is not really about that . some of this is how to keep situations from boil over , or how to recover from mistakes and apologise , more than how to fit in . do not really want to fit in - struggle and will forever struggle with that idea - but when not able to speak , people can really flounder and things can get awkward , especially if not have even basic sign knowledge . maybe at least if have more idea of what speakers do , can find something to adapt and maybe flounder less .
and also , hehe , idea of faeries study up on human manners is funny little rush of joy . :P
no subject
We don't follow dailymanners, but we read through their account occasionally when it shows up on my feed. We like what they do :] It would be cool to see more stuff teaching people about manners and "social rules" while still helping the reader learn to unmask unnecessary social rules as well.
no subject
... which almost always instead result in janmisali ask whether or not to block person , because " autism-to-autism communication " is not inherent special ability , just like any other communication . >_>
one thing to be enthusiastic about same topics , want to share that enthusiasm , and maybe run too far with something that would be fine with friends but not with strangers - and janmisali is pretty sympathetic to that , if people can admit that and apologise . but wow , no , some of these people just double down and insist on janmisali change boundaries for others , or try to talk down and explain what this hilarious joke was - as if problem is that fail to understand , rather than not want strangers to treat this way .