once again ask , is stim useful category ?

[kossai]

really do feel like not very useful category because what still happen is that people split these actions between " normal and abnormal responses " .
normal for someone to shout when angry , stim for someone to shake hands when angry .
normal for someone to cry when sad , stim for someone to rub face in blanket when sad .
normal for someone to take deep breaths when overwhelm , stim for someone to hum repetitive noise when overwhelm .
normal for someone to pace when need focus , stim for someone to bounce when need focus .

not really remove stigma of what other people see as normal or not - might try to categorise even those " normal " examples as stims , but those people will push back and not accept !
like stim as umbrella word just frustrate because not inherently address reasons , and this only add to confusion and at times to stigma . what " stim " is is reaction to some kind of sensory need - and those can stem from emotions , absolutely . emotions can overwhelm mentally , and often come with physical sensations or urges that need to balance and release .

but everyone have sensory needs , everyone can do any of these things - and feel sort of defeat purpose of normalise to insist on this word , especially if try to strictly categorise in any which way .
people will have different urges for different actions , and certain strands of neurodivergent people seem to display certain ones more - but is that really because " normal " people never would do those things ? or because there is perception of normal at all , which many of those people can simply better hide and perform within ? if truly break barrier between what is normal and what is stim - not categorise anything either way , recognise all as potential actions and reactions for anyone , teach everyone how to recognise sensory needs and personal reactions - would these become more common ?

kossai imagine so , anyway .

Comments

[dismallyoriented]

I briefly had a conversation once in a neurodivergence channel relating to how like. Strictly speaking, I think fire/things burning up is a visual stim for me. In the sense that like - if I am sitting around a campfire, I will repeatedly find little sticks or dry leaves or bits of vegetation that I can just toss into the fire, specifically so I can watch them ignite and burn up. It's soothing, and repetitive, and something I seek really reliably, like a habit, or clockwork.

But even though by many accounts it qualifies as a visual stim, that's just not how I think about it? I just know it as "a thing I do/a thing I like". I think my brief detour into categorizing it as a "visual stim" was interesting, and gave me a different perspective that I thought was helpful (mostly in that understanding stimming as "Oh I also do that" helped normalize stimming to me overall).

There are ways in which having a specific name for something can be helpful. A lot of people do find it easier to accept "oh it's an autism thing," or find use in having language for something they didn't fully understand about themselves first. But you're right that the real test is going to be when NTs can hear "crying is a stim" and understand that as a neutral factual statement.

(Edit: whoops, last sentence got typed in the wrong paragraph)

[kossai]

mhm , yeah . kossai know things which seek out , generally know how to get in touch with needs , and that feel more important than put word - even if sometimes have to apply for sake of discussion with others , because others expect to have word .

A lot of people do find it easier to accept "oh it's an autism thing,"

ah , maybe just cynical overall , because this is unfortunately not experience of kossai - and as faeries , also reason why reject idea that human words really explain brain . among human legality and recognition have some use of course , but not important to overall identity - know worst of how words can hurt .