dancing in the faerie ring

more often should remember that what is " woman's experience " or " man's experience " , as well as " cis experience " or " trans experience " ... is not actually always such ?

some intersex cis men wear bras and vests to flatten chest . some intersex cis women have facial hair . some intersex cis people , gender regardless , have to take hormone therapies for health and stability . intersex cis people often know pressures and shames from " both sides " as might say .

say this not because this is some kind of proof towards respect of trans people , but because there can and should be solidarity everywhere . not just trans people , but also intersex cis people , can be familiar with some of same problems - and , not just cis people of same gender , but others as well , can be too .
deserve to have support too , to lift others and be lift .

sometimes kossai worry that still have too much " cringe reaction " about things , even if never externalise and make problem for anyone , then actually come across people who make cringe into personality and think . wow . well at least not live like that anymore .
because , well , did when younger - was hard escape people cringe even if not necessarily use that word yet , and hard not take lessons from this .
but these days always ask ... do this hurt anyone ? is this really important enough to make problem about ? what could be reason for something like this ?

and 10 out of 10 times , will shrug and not say anything . even if think that might feel better to cringe , know would not actually help . people cringe to prove better than others in some way - to prove that harmless but weird thing is somehow bad , to prove that not like those people with schizophrenia , severe cognitive disability , or other " undesirables " , and so on .
in other words , to externalise cringe and make problem for people is only to keep cycle alive . cringe is just another tool in hurt others , in some cases another small tool that contribute to outcast and oppress , and in fairer world ... would not be near as much problem . there would not be " look at this person act weird " because act weird would be alien concept , would simply accept variance of people as good and just truth .

so . cringe is useless at best and deeply hurtful at worst . if spend any time at all with people who just love to go cringe and now embed reaction in mind , then just try think carefully , more kindly about people , and not make problem for people on that basis . if there really is problem , look at problem , not at weird cringe factor .